Rules of the Heart
by Johanna Night
Summary: All she ever wanted was the world. And who could ever blame her? There were eight rules that Drew made, but some she never followed.


**A/N: I do not own PJO. Rated T for suggestive content and one or two curse words.**

All she ever wanted was the world.

And who could blame her? She was a little girl, dressed up in pink and frills. Two perfect pigtails twisted and curled, framing a perfect heart shaped face and a coy smile. Drew knew she was beautiful.

Her father sent her to school, dolled in ribbons and bows, and her teachers oohed and aahed. "Good luck, Drew," he would say, pressing a tender kiss to the crown of her head. And even then, she batted her eyelashes innocently and smiled.

Then she grew up, and no more was that little girl who perched on her father's knee. Ten, eleven, thirteen…for her father they flew by, but for her they dragged on and on.

The first time she saw a monster all she could do was scream. The lame, scrawny boy named George limped over, and an instant later she was covered from head to toe in golden dust that sifted through her clothes.

That was the first time she cared more for something other than her looks.

The day she left home was the day her father died.

_Drew Tanaka Rule #1: When things are perfect all they can get is worse._

* * *

The sad thing was, she actually _tried_ to be nice. When her siblings brushed her hair and curled her lashes, she didn't bother telling them to get a life. The words stuck in her throat and emerged hoarse, so when her cabin mates asked her to repeat it she murmured, "nothing."

She was always just another empty headed china doll.

She couldn't even pick up a sword. The other campers snickered and the counselors told her to ignore them, but that glint in their eyes told her they thought the same.

All she wanted was to be treated like a regular camper, like one who could climb lava walls or fight or do anything that she couldn't do. But everyone treated her like the only thing she could do was apply makeup with deadly precision. Even at that, she wasn't as good as any of her siblings.

"Excuse me," never worked during campfires. While campers stared at the flames, singing horrible songs, none of them ever paid attention to her or her sisters. To them, the Aphrodite cabin was nothing but a gaggle of cold hearted fakes.

_Drew Tanaka Rule #2: Despite what her father said, being nice never got her anywhere._

* * *

She tried being nice, she really did. But it didn't work out. So she became what her father told her never to become, never to do. She became the cold hearted bitch; the one feared and gossiped about but never crossed.

Her cabin cowered whenever she glanced at them. The routine settled into a pattern of 'Drew first,' and she wouldn't have it any other way. For a while, she was happy, ecstatic at the wide eyed glances of fear.

Her charmspeak was a weapon she discovered when she started. Whatever she told her sisters to do, they did, and she quickly snatched up the ability and practiced whenever she could. Everything was so easy—she could tell someone to do all her chores; everything she ever wanted was hidden in her voice.

She wasn't cabin leader yet, but it was good enough.

Being feared was perfect. Everyone avoided her; none dared to even look at her when she passed. She became a dictator, one who indulged in the aura of fear that surrounded the people who were once her friends.

But the ugly feeling remained; even when she consoled herself that she had everything.

_Drew Tanaka Rule #3: Making others feel ugly doesn't make her pretty._

* * *

The first time she even liked a boy was an accident.

It was her second year at camp, and she had just turned fifteen. Her father would've said it was too young to be 'in love,' but by then she had pushed him to the very back of her mind. She was sitting in the crowd when a boy smirked at her and waved.

Without thinking, she waved back.

Instantly she snatched her fingers to her side. '_WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?' _Her mind screamed at her. She'd already completed her rite of passage—nothing else was necessary. And besides, all boys were good for was to be looked at.

Once you got past the outside, there was nothing there.

During the campfire, he pulled her aside. His hands were rough and callused. They steered her deep into the woods. Naïve and inexperienced, she followed like an obedient little puppy. _He won't do anything,_ she thought nervously.

How wrong she was. The minute they were secluded her back slammed against the tree trunk. The boy kissed her roughly, his mouth hot and disgusting on hers. Her nails scrabbled helplessly at his chest; her cries were muffled by his lips.

"Be quiet," he hissed brusquely, and suddenly she knew what her cabin mates felt like. Her mouth clamped shut and she bobbed her head quickly. Adrenaline raced through her blood, but one muscular hand pinned her wrists above her head.

The next instant his clothes were off, and she could only whimper, closing her eyes and pretending it was someone that she actually loved.

Her cabin mates never suspected a thing.

_Drew Tanaka Rule #4: Being beautiful might not always be a blessing._

* * *

Silena was the one she envied.

Silena Beauregard was the only girl in her cabin she actually respected. The brunette was always an older sister, and for some reason the girl handed control over to her on a silver platter. She was the only one Drew had ever listened to.

When she met Charles, Drew was furious. The son of Hephaestus wasn't good enough for her beautiful, amazing, _perfect_ sister. But they made each other happy and Drew tolerated it though it meant Silena had abandoned her rite of passage.

Somewhere deep inside, though, she still felt betrayed.

Beckendorf went on a mission a year later, and she half heartedly reassured her sister that he would come back.

He didn't.

When Beckendorf died, Silena was inconsolable. Drew spent her hours perched on the side of her sister's bed, stroking her hand over Silena's black hair. Her other siblings stared at her as if she was insane. She didn't respond to any of their meek attempts at conversation.

Then Silena was discovered a traitor, and all Drew could think was: _It was all because of him._

_Drew Tanaka Rule #5: Being in love will never lead to a fairytale ending. _

* * *

She didn't so much feel betrayed for her sister joining Kronos than she did for her death. To Drew, her death was the equivalent of her leaving, abandoning Drew to live her life all alone. As a sick compensation she pushed her charmspeaking abilities to her limit.

Slowly she resumed her status as Queen.

Being a cabin leader didn't help. Now she was truly a leader, and her cabin mates suffered her grief almost as much as she did. She knew it was wrong, but it was like a drug she could not give up. She was addicted to being feared, addicted to making others fear her.

Everything when downhill when Piper McLean showed up.

Her cabinmates loved the new girl. With her choppy braids and her slightly crooked smile, she managed to look gorgeous all the same. Her appearance was a taunt, a smack in the face. It was a sign that she wasn't good enough, no matter what she did.

And then Piper could _charmspeak, _and that was when she realized: She was no longer Aphrodite's favorite. And somehow, that hurt more than anything in the world.

_Drew Tanaka Rule #6: Being feared is not the same as being respected or loved._

* * *

The second time she fell in love it was one sided.

The first time was still imprinted into her mind, scarred over and hideous. When she caught herself meeting his eyes, she looked away, out of fear and not embarrassment.

Of course it didn't help when he came over to her at campfire. Instinctively she shied away, moving as far as possible. He appeared confused but made no move to intrude in her personal space.

"Why are you so mean?" Those were his first words, and her cheeks flushed even under the layers of concealer. Hurriedly she glanced away from those green eyes, turning her face away so he couldn't read her expression.

"I don't know," She answered after groping for an answer but coming up with none. "I don't know." It was the first time she was truthful for a long time.

She was devastated when he stood and walked away, intertwining his hands with Annabeth's.

The next day he disappeared.

_Drew Tanaka Rule #7: Looking from afar is worse than never seeing at all._

* * *

When he returned from his quest, word spread like wildfire:_ He and the Athena girl were engaged._

She sought him out, waiting for him during training. She even picked up a sword for the first time since the war, but his eyes breezed over her like she was invisible. Her heart crashed like a falling spaceship.

His movements were precise and more accurate than hers would ever be. In one clean stroke, he slashed a dummy in half and moved on, becoming a blur of movement and an explosion of straw. Then he was gone, leaving nothing but dusty footprints on the sandy floor.

Only later did she remember that they had fallen into Tartarus.

In that moment, she wished to be loved more than anything in the world.

She followed him after lunch. "Why doesn't anyone love me?" She was abrupt and blunt, and almost regretted it when he turned and fixed her with a puzzled stare.

"It's hard to love someone who doesn't give love back." His answer was bitterly cruel in it's own way, though the way his eyes dulled softened the words. "But one can try." He clapped his hand on her shoulder, leading her back into the pavilion.

The next day Drew was nicer than she ever was, and was rewarded with a heart stopping smile.

_Drew Tanaka Rule #8: Being loved is the loveliest reward in the world._

* * *

When a sea colored invitation to Percy and Annabeth's wedding fluttered through her window a year after the war, she brought a dark green dress for the occasion.

**A/N: Read, review, and enjoy! (This has no connection to my other one-shot, Heart of Gold.)**


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